Doctor Wars: Dancing Daleks
by Coleiosis
Summary: Bib Fortuna dresses in a Dalek armor and visits Nute Gunray's Chinese Restaurant, causing havoc. The Doctor must come to stop the chaos, especially when the Neimoidians are cooking the meals the wrong way.


Star Wars Action Go-Figure

Dancing Daleks

By Cole Bezotte

Plot by Hudson Bezotte (my little brother)

**Hudson and I got this idea from playing with our action figures of Star Wars and Doctor Who. What a great idea it was for… well, I don't want to cause spoilers.**

It was a crazy day unlike any other, when the Twi'lek alien known as Bib Fortuna began to do something very stupid. He was looking through a junk pile at a place called "Jar Jar's Junk," digging through heaps of scrap metal and whatnot. Suddenly, he came across the black armor of a Dalek Sec. That's when an idea struck his dumb head. He put on the armor, pretending to be the Dalek that he found. He even worked great on the Dalek's voice impression, chanting: "EXTERMINATE!" over and over again.

And so, Bib left the junkyard and headed for Nute Gunray's Chinese Restaurant, the best eating establishment in all the galaxy. Inside the building, he approached the Neimoidian named Lushros Dophine, who was standing behind the main counter. He caught sight of Bib coming towards him, thinking that it was a real Dalek, but he did not know that Bib was inside the Dalek armor. "Hello, sir," Lushros spoke up, nervous. "What can I get for you?

Using his best Dalek impression, Bib answered through the armor: "I WOULD LIKE A CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES!"

"You idiot!" Nute Gunray barked as he burst into the dining room. "We don't sell that kind of food here! Order something else!"

Inside the Dalek armor, Bib thought of a real Chinese food order to place. Then, he finally made his decision: "PERHAPS AN EGGROLL WILL DO FINE!"

"Ah," Nute replied. "Very good choice. Coming right up." With that, Nute went back into the kitchen of the restaurant, giving the order to two other Neimoidians, the ones known as Rune Haako and Daultay Dophine. "Alright, you men with weird lips," Nute continued as he barked as his fellow employees. "A Dalek is requesting an eggroll! Get to it!"

"You heard the man!" Daultay barked at Rune. "Go and make the eggroll! Hail Gunray!" Daultay had a terrible habit of repeating "Hail Gunray!" over and over again.

As Rune walked over to a grill, holding a carton of eggs, he thought to himself: "Where does Daultay think he is? Germany?" Rune opened the carton of eggs and looked inside to find the right one that was not cracked. All but one egg in the carton was already cracked and broken, spilling out yoke, leaking through the carton. Even though that was the case, it still took Rune forever to find the one egg that was still in perfectly good condition. "Ah, here it is," he said as he picked up the egg and tossed the carton aside (literally, spilling the broken eggs and yoke on the floor).

Rune cracked the egg and let the yoke land on the grill, frying it. Because of the grill's very low heat, it took Rune about an hour just to fry this single egg. Once the time was up, he took the now-solid egg and rolled it up like a scroll. He sprinkled salt and pepper on the egg, then handed it to Daultay to give to Bib.

Daultay went out into the dining hall and put the egg at Bib's table. "Here you go, sir!" Daultay said as he gave Bib the "eggroll." "One eggroll to satisfy your hunger! Hail Gunray!"

Suddenly, Bib opened the head of the armor and poked his arm out, responding in the salute Daultay gave. "Hail!" he said before quickly bringing his arm back in and closing the head. But, once Bib looked through the eyestalk of the Dalek's head, he received a very nasty surprise. It turns out that Rune just fried an egg and rolled it up like a scroll; it was nothing like a Chinese eggroll. And so, out of anger, Bib shouted: "EXTERMINATE!" and started shooting around with his death ray.

It was total chaos in the restaurant as Bib's anger boiled. But, right at that moment, a blue police public call box appeared at the scene. Everyone recognized the box as the TARDIS of the Doctor (this Doctor here is the one played by David Tennant; the Tenth Doctor). The Doctor ran out of the TARDIS and ran towards Bib in the Dalek armor, taking his Sonic Screwdriver out of his pocket. "You won't get away with this!" he spoke up as he fully approached Bib.

The Doctor activated his Sonic Screwdriver and used it to open the head of the Dalek armor, revealing Bib in his little act. "Aha!" the Doctor exclaimed as he pulled Bib out of the armor by his head-tails. "So our little friend Bib is out for lunch eh? You're coming with me!" With that, the Doctor brought Bib into the TARDIS and out of the restaurant.

The Neimoidians watched as the TARDIS disappeared into the Time Vortex. They could not believe that this happened in just a matter of ten seconds. "That was weird," Nute said as he walked into his office. "If you need me, I'll be in my office taking a hot-tub bath for about a century."


End file.
